Today I learnt..... About manly things

I decided that today I would catch the bus to the shopping centre and pick up a bike, which turned out to be harder than expected! I learnt many manly-things; and a few womanly-things too!

I caught the bus and had a very manly conversation with the guy next to me about AFL. I actually know nothing about AFL so it was less of a conversation and more of a nod-and-smile-and-occasionally-agree kind of encounter.

Then I went to Kmart and Big W and had many manly conversations about bikes, tyre tread, tyre thickness, optimal materials and braking systems. Then I did a womanly thing, and picked the bike based almost solely on colour.

I also had to ponder many manly questions such as "are adjustable wrenches and adjustable spanners the same thing?" And "what exactly is an Allen Key? How do you spell Allen Key? And where would I find one in this store". Then I got lost and in a manly fashion, didn't ask for directions.

I also had a womanly learning experience while I nodded and smiled politely at the sales lady as she tried to explain to me the importance of the "thread count" in the sheets I was going to buy. I still don't quite understand about it, if anyone knows, feel free to enlighten me!

Then I got home (via taxi because a DIY-bike-in-box is much too big for a bus) and had to draw upon all my new man knowledge for the greatest manly task of the day, building the bike. I read the "warning, in the interests of safety this bike must be assembled by an experienced cycle mechanic" and ignored it. I also ignored, in typical man fashion, the instruction manual.

I did read the pamphlets though, which turned out to have all kinds of important information such as "when riding, a red light means you must stop" and "assembly mechanic available for $16.00" (which was crossed out with a red marker and had "recently quit" written over it. There was also a note that said " IMPORTANT the left pedal goes on the left side and the right pedal goes on the right side!" Which of course is true, but considering the left pedal was already attached to the bike I don't really see how you could put the right pedal anywhere else.

So I tossed them all aside, picked up my Allen Key and Adjustable Wrench (that I decided could indeed be an adjustable spanner) and set to work; and I'm proud to say that 4 hours later I had built a bike. This is made more impressive by the fact that I have owned my car for 2 years now and still have not figured out how to open the bonnet.

I got to take it for a ride then, and quickly I realised that I may have forgotten to tighten a few of the bolts (the handle bars may have fallen off), but never fear because today I was a man and carried my tools in my backpack. So I quickly tightened things up and went for a 2hr ride (must have been going very slowly because the sign said it would only take 45min) to celebrate!

What a good learning day!!



Side Note: yes, I know this post is stereotypical and largely inaccurate. Yes, I do believe in gender equality. No, I don't believe only men know about bikes, tools and building stuff. And No, I don't believe only females know about thread counts (I actually believe no one does).