Today I Learnt.... I have a new musical calling

I like music. I like singing loudly and out of tune (cars and showers being my specialty). I like dancing like a loser. I like overly bright Hawaiian shirts. 

Too uncoordinated for the piano or the guitar

Not serious enough for the flute or the violin

Lungs not big enough for the trumpet, trombone, tuba or French horn (also, incapable of doing the buzzing thing required for them to make a sound)

Definitely not cool enough for the drums

And have way too much pride for the triangle and the recorder.

If only there was an instrument that suited me!! Oh wait, there is!!

Drum roll.....

....... THE UKULELE!!

My only problem with it is that for some reason it has become cool to play the ukulele; and I'm not really ready for all that pressure to be cool.

But never fear, I have found a way to de-cool-ify the ukulele!!

I have joined the hospital ukulele band. That's right. There is such a thing! 8 middle aged researchers with their over-zealous, over-ambitious, slightly-mad-scientist-crazy conductor, come together every Friday lunchtime to practice for 90min over hot cups of tea and coffee. They even play in competitions and put on shows with PowerPoint presentations featuring lasers (just like playing in a real rock band! Ha. Ha.)

Downside: they play songs by old bands I don't know, like the Carpenters (who apparently were this crazy brother-sister band who were madly in love with each other)

Upside: not knowing the songs gives me an excellent excuse to be terrible at them! Winning!

I know exactly 4 chords now, which pretty much makes me a ukulele expert, and I have to say it is a damn fine instrument.

Housemates, start looking forward to my endless strumming of the same chords and excellent monotonal singing voice. I know you'll have as much fun with this new adventure of mine as I will!

Ah, life is so happy! Ukulele happy!

Today I Learnt.... Of the World of IPhone Dating Apps

This year I have decided to "actively date" (whatever that means, but, yay for me!) and so considering I don't know people up in Darwin, I have decided to check out the world of IPhone Dating apps in all of their glory.

I have learnt many things through this process. Mostly, that I'm extremely (and borderline unreasonably) picky with my taste in men. Oh and also, I'm a very superficial person when it comes to choosing possible "matches" as these apps like to call them.

Seriously though,

-- Anyone who uses "me" instead of "my" in their 'about me' section ("I love me job") ..... No Deal

-- Anyone with "niceguy" or "shyguy" or "lookingforlove" as their username ..... No deal

-- Anyone who manages to write three paragraphs with no fullstops or commas .... No deal

-- Mullets, missing teeth, sleeve tattoos, multiple piercings ...... All no deal

-- Over 27 or under 21? .... No deal

-- Anyone whose top hobbies are shooting, fishing and BMX riding (99% of Darwin men).... No deal. (Seriously, what is with the need to fish here?)


Now most of those I can possibly justify, but then there are my restrictions which really are just unnecessary:

-- Come off needy or desperate ... No deal

-- Too blokey? Not blokey enough? .... Not deal

-- Too tall? Too short? Overweight? ..... No deal

-- Wearing a backwards cap in all photos ..... No deal

-- Describing themselves as a "true Aussie bloke" ... No deal

-- Even crooked teeth = probs not going to make the cut.


I'm taking a wild guess here in saying that maybe IPhone Dating Apps are not going to be my most successful avenue. I swear I'm not this bad when I meet people in real life! Part of me believes I can be this picky because it's the Internet, and then a part of me realises just how many good guys I'm potentially culling.

It's a good thing I'm having fun reading all these profiles though (there are some weird characters on these apps!) , if nothing else, it's an excellent way to procrastinate!