Today I learnt...... The teacher makes the difference

Every year in school they always told me that it was a combination of the subject content and your passion for the subject that decided whether or not you succeeded. I disagree. The way the subject content is taught and how much interaction and creativity is involved, is dependent on the teacher. The amount of passion and drive I had for a subject and how much time I dedicated to accomplishing it, was dependent on the teacher.

Today, I had an intern who was interested in teaching me, asked me questions, answered my questions and was generally nice. She gave me tips for the future and talked to me like I was an equal. She knows every person on the ward by not only their name, but their recent story.

She made me want to turn up on time tomorrow. Maybe even early.

Today I learnt..... I Will Always Want the Impossible

As I look up at the sky from down on this earth
I see a flock of birds flying in formation
Simply cruising in the sky
And I realise I would like to have wings

I can imagine that if I was a bird
I would not simply drift from one place to another
I'd dive and dart and spin on the thermals
I would race the others and execute tricks
and take the longest route to my destination
So that I could practice my performance

I can imagine that if I was a bird
I would not simply make my nest from sticks
I'd fly to the ends of the earth
Searching for the perfect materials
I would remake it everyday to make it better
and find new innovative supplies
So that my house would be the best

I can imagine that if I was a bird
I would not simply find my food on the ground
I'd fly far far out to sea
To stalk my prey with cunning eyes
I would bide my time until the perfect moment
then swoop from great heights
With skill and precision

Realistically however
If I was a bird
I would look down at the earth
At the thousands of people scurrying around
And wish I had legs

Today I learnt..... The power of exercise

Actually, I knew this all along, but today it was firmly cemented in my mind. Today was my first day back at the hospital as a medical student after having two weeks medicine-free. At the moment I'm on a palliative care and geriatrics rotation, and as positive as I'm trying to be about it, it's really not my cup of tea. I was dreading getting up this morning, so much so that I left it until about 5 minutes before I had to leave. It wasn't such a bad day when I really look at it, it just doesn't give me the joy writing does. So anyway, I came home completely drained and realized that I promised myself I'd go to the gym and do two LesMills classes.

I used to be REALLY fit, and do as much exercise as possible, but somehow medicine has sucked a lot of time out of my life; so i've put on weight and lost enough fitness that exercising is actually a struggle for the first time ever. Today I didn't feel like going, all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep, but I don't like disappointing myself so off I went. I've got to say, as I sit here writing this, after doing 2 hours of solid exercise and burning about 1500 calories; I couldn't feel better. I know it's probably just the endorphins, and they'll wear off soon, but I feel alive and settled. My mind is calm and clear, and I'm actually motivated to get a bit of study done. Whether that eventuates is another story! After doing exercise I feel grounded, and healthier, and I want to be a better me. I don't feel like junk food or snacking and I feel like I can do anything. I don't care if its just the endorphins or chemicals in my body because I feel great; and I love that.

I don't know if you know what LesMills classes are, but pretty much, someone out there decided that aerobics wasn't cool anymore and needed to be jazzed-up and intensified by 1000 times. They released a range of classes from BodyAttack (based on old school aerobics) and BodyCombat (based on MMA) to BodyBalance (pilates + yoga) and RPM (cycling). I can make it sound as fancy as I like, but really its super daggy and I couldn't think of a more enjoyable way to burn calories and improve fitness.

Someone once asked me, "why do you like group fitness? why don't you just jump on a treadmill and run?" and it got me thinking. I think the real reason I love these classes is the atmosphere. You look into a class and you see all these different people, of varying ages, ethnicities, occupations; and they all bring with them a unique story. In the outside world, we wouldn't notice each other really, we'd probably just walk past without a second glance. So we go every week, and essentially all we do is ridiculous movements to pumped up music; together. I think I just love the fact the something so simple, so fundamentally crazy, can unite people in a way that nothing else can.

So today I learnt that whenever I don't feel like doing exercise, is when I need it the most. That exercise challenges me physically and mentally and that it shouldn't have been dropped from my life. From this day onwards I'll try to maintain a level that allows me to be happy with myself. I will make time to do it because in the long run its benefiting me in every way.

Today I learnt..... Why I Write

So we drink copious amounts of coffee, sit for hours staring at the blank computer screen, get frustrated, write hundreds of drafts but only complete a few, write heaps of stories that no one gets to see or appreciate; but we wouldn’t have it any other way. We have to ask ourselves, why do we do it? Why do we have this passion?

I’m guessing that “why we write” is different for every person out there. Maybe it’s a way of saying all of the things you can’t say out loud, maybe it’s a way of clearing out all of the ideas that fill our minds, or maybe it’s simply the satisfaction of seeing your thoughts on paper. Some write to share with the world and some write to share with only themselves. Every writer is different, in so many ways that even categories aren’t possible, and yet we are all linked by one resounding fact; writing brings meaning to our lives.

So what makes a “writer”? I think pretty much everyone is a writer in some way. A writer is that person on the street corner busking with their own songs. A writer is that kid in your class who sits at the back scribbling phrases in the margins of their textbook, or the kid in the middle passing notes to their friends. A writer can publish articles in a local paper, or speak as a friend at a 21^st party, or write an internet blog. They can advertise themselves on Facebook and with their community, or it can be a secret that they are not ready to share. Writers are everywhere. Who do you think wrote the poem on the back of the public toilet door? Or the graffiti on the station walls? I think it would be hard to find someone out there who wasn’t a writer in some way. So even if you haven’t realised it yet, you are a writer too.

I think the reason I write, like many others, is because it’s a way of expressing who I am. It’s a way that I can be completely myself without having to stand in front of everyone and yell “this is me!”. Writing takes me to places in my mind I wouldn’t otherwise have gone. It allows me to explore ideas and memories that otherwise would have been forgotten. It wasn’t until I started writing down one thing I learnt every day, that I realised how much of my life goes unnoticed, and how many little things happen in day-to-day life that I just pass by. It is these events, these tiny undiscovered moments, that fuel my writing and therefore bringing a fullness and completeness to my life that otherwise would not be there.

 I like to remember as much as I can. All the people who walk through my life; I want to remember. All the experiences I have; I want to remember. I am scared of forgetting all of these things that were once, even briefly, so important to me. I can imagine that without writing them down in some way, whether it be a journal, poem, short story or one line in a blog; all of this would build up in my mind and consume me. Writing is a release. It is a way of letting go so we can move forward, but still holding on so we can remember. The release can come from writing a seemingly fictional short story and knowing it was based on a truth or simply sharing a story with a friend that would normally have stayed hidden.

It doesn’t matter why you write really; I just think it’s important that you do. If you’re alone, you can find a community in writing. If you’re lost, writing can give you direction. Even if you have the best life imaginable and couldn’t be happier, writing can be a way to document it so you will always have that feeling. 

I can't imagine the person I would be without writing. It certainly wouldn't be the person I am now.

Today I learnt..... The Simplicity of Happiness

There was no sun,
As I lay on the damp grass,
With no blanket beneath me,
With no jacket sheltering me from the icy breeze,
Staring up into the stormy clouds,
Watching them tumble and roll without moving,
And I was still.

There were no cheerful songs,
sung by morning birds,
to send me to a higher place,
With the trees rustling loudly,
As if breaking free from captivity,
The thoughts occupying my mind were overpowered,
And I was numb.

Surrounded by few people,
who were not well known to me,
Surrounded by food,
that was not my own,
As we lay in that grass,
we were as together as apart,
And I was peaceful.

With nothing but myself,
and the world that engulfs me,
I was happy