Sunday, 3 March 2013

Today I Learnt..... The Wildlife Here Will Kill You!

Today I learnt that the wildlife here is 1. Everywhere and 2. Will kill you. In fact, there's a whole museum dedicated to it! There's also an iphone app.

Firstly, you've got your salt water crocodiles which get up to 7m long and are found anywhere from the local swimming pool to your back garden. Everyone here has a "salty" story it seems. Mostly they are of near misses, but some are not misses at all. I asked how you can distinguish them from the harmless fresh water crocs and was told "The freshies are smaller. And don't look like they want to eat you".

Then you have the "sea wasp". This is a wasp that hangs out on the Darwin beaches. If you're stung by it you're apparently dead within 10min. End of story. Guess I won't be going to the beach!

If you decide to risk the crocodiles and go for a swim in the sea, you've also got to avoid the deadly box jelly fish and these tiny octopuses (?octopi) that will, just going with a theme here, also kill you.

Decide you don't want to risk your life on the beach or in the water? Think you're safe on land? Wrong! You now have to deal with the endless species of swooping birds whose sole purpose in life seems to be to knock you off your bike. You can get these funky looking hats to wear here to "scare off the birds" but then you just look ridiculous. Probably less ridiculous than screaming your lungs off and fleeing from your bike (I may have done this).

This is of course just disregarding the numerous posionous spiders which seem to occupy your room, bed, shower and are  probably camping out under the pillow i'm sitting on right now. Because, in Darwin, they simply aren't dangerous enough to even make the list of ways the wildlife will end your life.

If you manage to survive surrounded by all of these deadly creatures, it's the tropical diseases that will get you for sure!

You've got: Ross River Fever, Farmer's Fever and of course Dengue Fever. You've even got this new one called "Nightcliff Fever". I live in the suburb next to Nightcliff. Yes, that's right, Darwin discovered it's own unique bacteria that rises up from the soil in the rain and enters cuts in your feet and guess what? It will also kill you. Fantastic.

Guess I'll just stay inside my room and never leave! Oh wait, what's that? A snake chilling on my bed? Why yes it is! Guess I'm not safe anywhere!

No comments:

Post a Comment